Want to be happy? The partner, the family, the house the boat, business success – you have it all. Or not (…yet).
Anyway, you can’t really enjoy yourself here and now? Too busy with stuff you have to take care of and it seems to never end? Somehow you feel you are not taking care of yourself, even though you try?
How does happiness work? Hundreds of books, have been written on this. Methods, tipps and tools include regular exercise, fresh air, healthy food, quality relationships, spiritual rituals, some form of continuous learning, challenging oneself and growing, applied creativity, contribution to the community … Sounds complicated.
Please excuse the language, yet, I feel it has to be expressed:
It takes daring to face the shit, too.
We tend to only want to see the traits we like about ourselves and do almost everything to not have to face and especially not FEEL what we don’t like. That’s a problem!
Chances are that any feeling of discomfort such as fear (e.g. of the unknown or that which is beyond our current comfort zone), irritation (or some kind of minor or major anger), or sadness (e.g. an empty scary feeling of disconnection) is tried to be avoided by any means: distraction, projection, escape, x-oholism. If most of the feelings one can experience aren’t welcome, it’s quite difficult to allow this other feeling of JOY to speak up from the heart naturally. No, I am not talking about clinical depression, yet some form of suppressing what is. Nor am I suggesting on focusing what you don’t want. I invite you to dare to face and feel what you really feel here and now. Go deep. Face it and appreciate your feelings without judgement, like a parent would do to a young child.
If you use some of your life energy consciously or unconsciously on suppressing what is, it’s going to be challenging to feel free, joyful and present here and now. In other words, you are trying hard to focus on finding something you want where in reality your focus is on preventing that feeling. Some need to be busy all the time either at work or at sports or at partying to be at ease.
Nothing new, and still a thought worth to contemplate on for yourself. Ultimately, some form of awareness training or meditation is helpful to keep updating mental habits. Life is change and we have the tools to create and be the change, as soon as we stop functioning like an automaton, repeating yesterday’s habits without being aware of it.
Making friend with all there is first. Then, choosing how to respond.
Check out some great apps (Headspace, Insight Timer,….) to get into meditation, tools to remember the big questions (e.g. by Simon Sinek: the power of WHY) or meet up with a Walking Buddy regularly to motivate for a healthy Walking Meditation Ritual in the morning! All free… Meditation will help you get to know yourself better – the difference between what you think, who you are (the mental concept you have about yourself) and who you really are. That’s the home of joy…
Hope you got curious enough to explore that there is much more to be enjoyed!
What’s your experience so far? Anything you would like to share?