3 Easy Life-Coaching Steps to Stop Old Stories Run your Life

It's all about balance

Feeling easily triggered by something occurring around you?

A trigger is a small device that releases a spring or catch and so set off a mechanism. You feel like someone “pushed your button” and you shoot. You either implode inside or you explode with an over the top reaction.

It happens all the time: the boss of your new company looks at you in a “strange” way like x-raying you and you feel super uncomfortable. The people in the shop disrespect standing in line. Your colleague doesn’t give you any feedback and leaves you “in the air”. Or they say something that you take as a clear offense while other people don’t feel that way. Or you say something and get an way over the top reaction… The interesting part is, that some people have a problem with some situations while others don’t… You create those stories in your mind that run your life. Those stories determine how you feel.

How to unwind

It’s like a system of a ball balancing on another ball. You are the one system balancing on top, and the other system triggers something, that kicks you off balance. It’s unstable and annoying, because it feels as if your whole being depended on others not purposely or unconsciously triggering you.

There is no ease in such a situation. You might even declare that it is the other person who has power over you. With this statement, you are giving your own power away and state that your well-being is dependent on others doing what you would like. Obviously, a difficult enterprise, not only because we can’t control others, also because it is ridiculous. And yet, we all know those situations when we totally believe, “they did this to me”, not realizing, that the others often have no clue, what they have triggered within you. It is YOUR story that has been triggered. The pre-installed button that has been pushed is your story. Some old stored information with a mental and emotional auto-reaction.

How to stop over-thinking and thinking too much

Don’t follow every thought! It’s normal for the thinking mind to think. But you must not follow every thought as if it was the Truth.

So how do you release the trigger of that pre-installed button of yours, so nobody can push your button anymore?


  1. Acknowledge
  2. Accept
  3. Agree

Easy, it is definitely simple and it requires self-love and patience.

Before asking what can keep you from experimenting with those 3 steps, let me explain them:


If is necessary to first be aware of what is going on. With awareness you start to become clear. You identify the situation as it is: You experience a strong or exaggerated reaction within you to something happening in your life. Your reaction is not by conscious choice. It happens like pre-programmed. Automatic. Undeniably. That is acknowledgement. No hiding, no denying, no neglecting, no sweet-talking. “Aha!” “Interesting!” are statements that help you gain that clarity. You are not the victim, but the observer.


You decide consciously to no longer resist what you are experiencing. You say “yes” to the program that has been running your life up to now. First you realized and acknowledged it, now you even accept it. You make it yours. It’s not some funky thing going on out there. It happens within you and you not only realize, you are owning it.

It is a bit as if you were willing to experience the intensity of what is happening or the exaggeration of reaction within you with full acceptance.


That’s when you get into your power!

It is about saying “yes” to what is being triggered, no matter if you might not like it. It takes a sense of non-judgement, no blaming, no shame. As if you were watching a movie without sympathizing with any of the actors and still fully feeling the intensity of the story or drama.

Sounds easy. And it is. It can be a lifelong process, so you better make it a game that you practice with some sense of humor. A game that you get more fluent in, the longer you practice. Don’t take it so serious. Make it fun. That could be your number one rule of the game.

What could it be, that might keep you from allowing these simple 3 steps to free you from being bound to old stories?

Think about it!

Who is ready to say yes to something they don’t like about themselves?
Here is the trap which is also the way to freedom. Accepting EVERYTHING!

You might identify with the old story that is stored in your memory. “This is me. I am my past. My past is who I am. I am not willing to let go of my past stories, because then, I lose the idea I have of myself”. Maybe this is what your inner dialogue may look like.

How motivated are you to free yourself from old triggers?

It’s ok to keep going the very same way you have always been “functioning”. It’s your freedom to chose. No good, no bad. What matters is that you realize that you do have the choice.

What I want to express with this blogpost is that you DO HAVE A CHOICE. And that makes a huge difference. If you kind of have fun with the triggering game, wonderful. Enjoy the ride!

If you suffer from those triggers, intense reactions and stories your mind makes up in certain situations, welcome to the club. It is most natural for humans of our culture to have this mechanism happening. And now, that you know, you can change it, please take it easy with experimenting.

The most important part in this change-game is being compassionate with yourself and others all the time.

Remember, that you are not some old story and that you are free to stick to it or free yourself and create a brand new one, every day.

Please comment in the box below, if you would like to share some of your experiences during the process of finding out who you really are, freeing yourself from identifications that are simply old stories.

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