Who sabotages what when you self-sabotage? What is it that keeps us from living up to our potentials and dreams? What is the big unconscious fear behind self-sabotage?
Human minds are set up to survive. The comfort zone is a seemingly safe place. Everything out to there can easily feel uncomfortable, painful or threatening. Yet, if you don’t dare to go beyond the habitual and the known, you may prevent growth and development or worst case get sick. Here are 5 out of endless excuses. See if you find yours:
5 Excuses to continue Self-Sabotage
Excuse No 1: I have always been like that
Excuse No 2: It is genetic
Excuse No 3: I lack motivation
Excuse No 4: I have no time
Excuse No 5: I can’t afford to
The Art of finding a Healthy Balance
Getting out of the comfort zone and not pushing too extremely is an art: it is the art of finding an adequate balance in the current moment. Almost every aspect of life requires balance: action and relaxation, movement and stillness, giving and receiving, black and white, ying and yang, cashflow, sales, buying, training, focus and widening the perspective. It’s a continuously changing game that requires awareness.
It takes awareness to notice your current status quo and the current need. To realize the fear behind all excuses. Fear of the unknown, fear of letting go of control. Fear of exiting the habitual and relying on life. The typical answer to the question: “How are you?” is “I am fine”, or “I am ok”, which doesn’t say a thing. To get to this place beyond habitual chatter, Monkey Mind chatter, interpretations and assumptions it takes a stillness, shifting from thinking to feeling to being.
Awareness of thoughts and feelings is a tricky enterprise because we tend to judge them into good and bad. As soon as we judge, we crave the good, reject the bad and easily get into resistance.
Personal attitude, conditioning, habits, beliefs – even whole brain areas can change in their anatomy and function for the purpose of optimizing ongoing processes depending on use. Not to talk of physical change, say changing the body.
Let’s take the Heart: it takes no 2 weeks walking and coaching 3 times a week for an hour in a certain way for the heart muscle to grow. Measuring heart rate you will notice that after week 2 a formerly untrained person needs much less heart beats per minute to perform the same terrain in the same time. Heartbeats per minutes decrease, that means the heart muscle has become stronger in only 2 weeks.
It is not important to realize what excuses you use in order to prevent change. Instead of being mad about yourself, realize that the human survival mechanism works and that you do have awareness to lead your system safely beyond the limits of old habits and the illusion of safety, being stuck.
Surrender to Love
What sounds like a love song is true: You can dare to replace sticking to knowing and trying to control the world with trust in tender loving care for yourself and life by applying what it takes – every day. There are hundreds of ways to Rome. All it takes is keep on Walking and making your Path versus Thinking about it.
What’s your excuse?
Here is a “new” approach: Switch from Knowing to surrendering to tender loving care while Walking in order to find that place of deep peace inside. If you need assistance, and learn how to clear your mind during walks and practice Walking Meditation, my job is to coach you along while walking. Then, you do your job, you do your walking. Day by day.