15 years back a friend wanted to give Life-Coaching sessions as a gift to her brother-in-law. He was obese, loved sweets, eating in general was his way of treating himself with something good, he also liked all kinds of beverages, alcoholic, coffee, fuzzy sugary drinks. She insisted until I finally agreed to work with him on a “gift-voucher” base. Once and never again! An error and a very good lesson.
The man was grateful, since he was used to a sedentary lifestyle and didn’t enjoy sports. He did enjoy the coaching sessions during walks in nature and the positive input. He learned to look at himself without fooling, faking or blaming himself.
Any kind of physical movement had been a “must” and annoyed him. “Must” acts like a killer to freedom and joy. He was a successful architect, enjoyed public reputation and invited many people to his home for dinner parties. All seemed perfecto, except the fact that he silently sabotaged his health and true well-being with poor self-sabotaging lifestyle choices.
When we started, he was convinced that he couldn’t walk briskly for one hour, due to being unfit and over-weight. Surprisingly, the coaching session during the one-hour walk in nature felt so good that he was looking forward to continue. He was surprised that the hour had passed so quickly. Within two weeks, he gained heart muscle and general strength and his heart rate went down. He managed to control his choices, have only one glas of wine with dinner or alternatively an apertitif.
The coaching process all worked as it usually does, until the last gifted session. Only a few months after we stopped, he fell back into his old habits.
Coaching is nothing somebody does for you. It takes saying truely YES to positive change, let go of persumingly “comfortable”, yet destructive habits. It takes becoming humble, a leap of faith into the magic behind nature that runs everything. It takes personal commitment, own responsibility and the effort to stay aware and connected with yourself. It is a holistic healing process affecting mind, emotion, the physical body and spirit. It is not just information passed on, but a new experience, a process of becoming aware of unconscious mechanisms. Conscious choices that might feel uncomfortable at first, instead of keeping on running old ego-patterns that keep you trapped and in the illusion that you would be in control. It is allowing God, the magic behind everything to take over and heal old wounds. Let go of judgment, comparison, separation. Connect.
As a coach I provide tools and experiences to support a client change his or her mental setup, become aware of own, mostly unconscious and unwanted emotional reactions and habits. The work of the inner shift and responsible actions is done by divine grace and it takes the client to accept the gift.
The real gift is getting out of your own way and allow Divine Grace do the job, instead of still trying to force things accordig to your momentary personal desire
It takes letting go.
It takes faith. It takes trust. It takes getting out of the way, letting go of old poisoning unaware thinking-habits, knowing-it-all and loads of dumb concepts, that you based your life choices on.
The client makes new, loving decisions, sometime subtle, yet powerful. Awareness and love conquering self-sabotage.
Why did this man not change for good?
My observation is, that he was looking for love from outside, from people, and couldn’t commit to make loving decisions for and by himself. Loving yourself can’t be bought nor gifted with Coaching sessions. It is a skill to be remembered and trained.
When people consciously invest in their wellbeing, there is a different level of commitment. It takes becoming stronger than lazyness, exiting the comfort zone that keeps you trapped.
It takes a conscious effort that clearly hurts ego-structures when you decide to “outwit the devil”.
Other than a gym membership, a coach is still there in the background for regular check-in’s over the phone. This is most important to address the situations of “failure”, which turn out to become the most valuable learning experiences, when addressed with love, compassion and patience. Loving acceptance, never letting yourself down, total faith.
Habits such as being in silence or doing the things you do with total presence in a loving way versus kick-ass style, or eating consciously, etc. require love, awaremess, moderation, consistency and patience. Get out of the way and allow divine grace to take over. Let go.
So don’t waist your money in gift vouchers! Accept, express and share Love and Gratitude ♥️♥️🙏 💚
Merry Christmas and enjoy celebrating and appreciating the gift of love, light and peace xxx