What does it mean to love yourself for who you are?
Who are you anyway?
Note: Please don’t read on, if you don’t want to read about feelings!
All I know is that most of us identify with a set of believes and habits and genes and think this is who they are. An identity is how others can differentiate me from you: a set of qualities and features such as their name, gender, age, ethnicity, nationality, religion, beliefs, values, personality traits, and physical appearance, among other things. So is this who you are?
We are social beings and being excluded, rejected, abandoned or punished physically emotionally or verbally feels super threatening. It seems to be important to be somehow included, accepted and loved. Some say, they don’t care what others say. Are they fearless? Is this who they are? The guy who doesn’t give a shit? They still feel excluded, rejected, abandoned or punished in some way, despite that cool belief. They might react out of anger about injustice in their daily life where as others react out of fear of being rejected. Who are they? The angry guy, the fearful girl? Here is a hint who they are: What does really matter to them?
I discovered in my “inner exploration journeys” that I get into big trouble when I don’t stand up for myself and love myself as I am. Fortunately, I keep finding out more and more “who I am”. Also, it opens up huge amounts of energy that comes into motion within me, once I dare to explore. So I wondered, where this energy was, before my inner exploration journey and realized it was stuck! It’s a bit like damming a river with no ladder for the fish. You can open it up now and then, but the whole ecosystem gets out of balance because fish and energy are dammed up. Something is missing in the river if there is no fish swimming in it. It becomes a bit lifeless.
On that inner exploration journey, I learn to make friends with my feelings – all feelings, – no matter when, no matter why, no matter if it makes sense, no matter if it’s convenient. It wasn’t easy. I was so afraid of my own feelings! I was so stuck! Heck, I was so scared and could hardly allow myself to go inside and explore… I had created a big variety of strategies only to try to not feel other than joy and not tooo much, so I wouldn’t be tooo much. Strategies like smoking or too much of anything – drinking, sweets, mobile, work just not to show those uncomfortable feelings, not realizing that they are like fish in the river – bringing life into the story and withholding 75% of the fish or more would mess up the system. What’s the point when you are not really here and not really part of it?
But a part of my being never gives up. I have discovered what is really important to me: love, connection, clarity, truth and creativity or “energy in motion”. I am a playful experimental person who knows that I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, and yes, I am scared, but I like the adventure of going beyond fear, traveling and learning something new. This has helped me to get out of the vicious circle. This courageous allowing of feelings brought out a flow of creativity that just seems unstoppable, like the fish in the river without a dam. I discovered that feelings like joy, fear, sadness and anger are a precious part of me that I no longer want to deny. And slowly, slowly I’m learning to swim better and better
What about you? Have you ever explored more? Who and what is hiding behind your secret fear? Are you aware of those values, what you really care about, why you really do what you do? This clarity brings energy in motion, it makes it possible to forgive, accept and love yourself, as you are.
Please note that Getting unstuck could be dangerous!
Coaching to feel good now
#whoareyou #traumarelief #coachingonline #mentalagility #emotionalagility
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