Ayahuasca Experience
After 3 weeks and 10 Ayahuasca ceremonies I have an understanding what this is about and why it is healing. DMT is the stuff that is being released in the brain during dreaming, death and childbirth. The Ayahuasca brew contains DMT, which brings you in different a state of consciousness other than your daily analytical mind perception. This process goes along with feeling pretty sick, vomiting and/or diarrhea. So it’s definitely not fun, but an expansion of consciousness. Why do you do that to yourself? The amazing thing about these ceremonies is that you can see things from childhood, feel it, see it like very real and cure from old trauma in a few sessions where therapies take years or never do the job at all, because the ego blocks the path to healing, trying to stay in control and therefor never allowing to let go. Example: people with drug problems, eating disorder, alcoholism, depression, lack of joy or happiness, lack of energy, psychosomatic issues, the list is endless. All these problems are symptoms, Ayahuasca works on the original cause. To me it felt like it pushes away the ego program, you lose control over thinking process and access a field of higher awareness from which you can see and feel clearly and where healing happens. That sounds very abstract, yet anyone who took it may report this phenomena in a different way. People may see pictures, structures, beautiful swirling energy, or snakes and bugs, or situations and people. I started seeing limitless creativity and colors you can’t imagine, as well as muddy colors, spirals turning into snakes and things like that. So what? The amazing thing is that you start getting messages or meanings that expand your understanding of life, yourself, who or what you really are, what you are here for and how to take desicions. Everybody gets different messages or healings depending on where they are on their lifepath and level of consciousness. My feeling is, Ayahuasca helps to let go of ego. It frees from being run by a subconscious childhood program. You gain clarity, security versus doubt, power and confidence in the process of life versus self-sabotage. It is pretty miraculous. In 3 weeks here I witnessed a couple dozen people go through tremendous positive change.
Coaching is providing tools for self-empowerment. People trapped in situations where they feel stuck or powerless or helpless get pieces of information that help them proceed differently. Ayahuasca provides insights with very quick and effective results in everyday behaviour or feelings of relief and joy. My personal experience was cild abuse. Despite having talked in endless hours of therapy, I never related to that story of a six year old emotionally, even though I remembered every detail. I had aware that I was used to feel some kind of shame without a good reason, but could not let go of that feeling just by mentally making the connection to the trauma.
The shaman guiding through ceremony is essential for the success of the experience. The shaman at the regugio had mentioned he would sing for me tonight to heal childhood trauma. I wasn’t sure how he could know, nor weather this was about the siucide of my father or the abuse shorthy after. In Ayahuasca ceremony that evening unexpectedly I saw myself sitting on the floor, hiding my face, crying, feeling unworthy, guilty and broken in a way that could not be fixed. Not only did I see myself as a kid, I seemed to be that child during ceremony. I sat there crying my lungs out, rivers of tears, bent down, full of shame, like a piece of shit that had to carry that burden of having lost any kind of dignity until the very last day in the body. Now I related to the deep shame and guilt of that abuse incident. I was there. At some point my spine lengthened straight up, my head lifted, a feeling of pride and dignity entered my system as if a new energy entered every cell. Wow! Then I saw myself sitthing like a queen on a throne, peacefull, quiet, self-confident. I felt it too. It was like rebooting the hard drive including all emotions after running the anti virus program. You can’t do that just talking. Incredible!
Another time I saw my father clearly watching over me and felt a deep sense of love. Another time I got insights about reality, duality and illution. Duality only seems to exist and be real when we label things. Once we don’t label or judge, it is what it is, nothing more. That any wish can be legitimate and you have a choice, even when you can’t see the “how” yet. That you don’t need to know the “how” to reach your goal and that it is sufficient to be aware day by day and go step by step, then the “how” reveals itself. And and and. And all wrapped in words and signs I can relate to as if that stuff spoke my very personal soul language. That I am energy inseparable of all there is and yet individual as a part of the whole. One time I heard ” and when all the thoughts and words are gone, there is only light”. That very moment the shaman lit the candle, it was the end of the ceremony. Another time I had a vision of what to do next in life…
Conclusion: this is quite a powerful remedy, definitely not a recreational drug and not really fun but healing and expanding consciousness. The shamans say they communicate with the spirit of the plant and the plant teaches them what to do with each person, which ikaro to sing, what herb to give etc.. At the beginning I could not relate to that, but during 10 ceremonies I experienced this mysterical way of plant spirit communication. Maybe it is really just about transcending the limiting ego mind to enter the big mind, the higher power we are all part of, and that is us.
Please don’t hesitate to contact me for any questions or doubts or personal experiences! And SHARE! To inform people who might need this type of healing. I am informing a whole bunch of people who have been stuck for years about this natural medicine. Also, I am happy to make contacts or organize a group to come to the Amazon/ bring a Shaman over to run ceremonies.
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