How to use the Energy from Feelings
Many people’s attitude towards feelings of anger, fear and sadness is rather negative, whereas joy is welcome. Over here in central Europe we are trained to control our feelings. The expression: “He goes in the basement to laugh” refers to the English “stiff upper lip”. We are not supposed to show emotions and try to swallow them at times. Allowing feelings and emotions to be felt, versus resisting them has a huge benefit though, as long as you are able to respond to a situation versus react unconsciously.
Feelings are what they are: a signal
If you have trained to resist or suppress feelings, this experiment is for you. Some have trained to act as if they wouldn’t feel anything, as if they were numb, in order to better fit in. You can do so by drawing your energy from feeling and focus on thinking and making up stories. It’s quite easy. Resisting and suppressing may harm your health and drain your energy, can create stress, heart disease, depression, etc.. Feelings and emotions are what they are. Not good, not bad. We can redirect the energy from them in a constructive way:
Transform the energy arising from feelings and emotions consciously
Awareness is necessary for this process. It takes awareness to first note what you are resisting. E.g. a person or a situation. Note how you are feeling. If you are trained to feel numb, look at a list of emotions or check out this article and use the wheel of emotions to learn more. I like to refer to 4 basic emotions: joy, fear, anger and sadness. Here is the experiment: During a challenging situation maybe with people who don’t understand you, first
- Notice how you feel without resisting and describe it without judgment.
- Be present and accept the discomfort, acknowledge, accept and agree to what is.
- Use the energy of the feeling constructively, non-violently. Here are some ideas borrowed from possibility management:
With anger you can set boundaries, make decisions, say no, say yes, start or end processes, hold space, be attentive, observe yourself, ask for something and more.
With sadness you can open up and share, be quiet, accept things, let go, heal, listen, reflect, allow space for others, give way, understand pain, be authentic and more.
With fear you can discover danger, estimate risk, concentrate, be curious, plan, prevent damage, reach agreements, be precise, innovative, improvise, stay present and more.
With joy you can be inspired, inspire others, have visions, lead, experiment, enjoy, dare adventures, be generous, gracious, playfully go through problems, accept inconveniences, appreciate people for no reason and more.
- Choose how you want to feel: choose your desired state!
Do not jump from zero to the end, it takes walking the path to transform!
I like to think that every one reading this is curious about how to change a reactive unconscious pattern bravely and starts experimenting. All it takes is willingness (to explore something new within), and a bit of intelligence (to know you will not die from this) and real love (versus pampering ego programs and patterns that are holding you back).