How to Let Go, Enjoy and Still be in Charge?

There are many reasons to be concerned and alert about the future of your business, especially now. It’s important to be responsible, enthusiastic about growing your business and it’s necessary to focus and concentrate on reaching your business goals. During 10 years as a Managing Director of a Munich Publishing House and in 20 years as a Executive Coach, I still face this challenge: work in a focused way and then take a break from thinking, planning, organizing. Mastering your mind is more than planning the hours of the day or balancing work and private life.

Beyond Thinking

Thinking intelligently is necessary to thrive, not only in business. We are trained to use our ability to think and act in a disciplined, goal-oriented manner in order to achieve success. That’s great, as long as we don’t obsessively think all the time. When life seems to happens mostly in the thinking mind, and focus is mostly on knowing better without actually improving some of those habits that no longer serve, health, relationships, success and quality of life can be threatened.

What else?

How are you? Really?

Welcome to a new Day, a new change to make better decisions and act upon them! How do you feel? Are you at ease in your body, healthy, balanced, content? Or is your mindset: “I can’t be bothered with such questions”? What about real quality of life? Can you enjoy your success and the way you do the things you do?

You have no clue how many people can’t really enjoy their success and on top of it feel somewhat guilty for not being able to do so! It is not enough to know how to reach a goal in order to enjoy life fully, ask some athletes, pop stars or millionaires!

Strategic Thinking

The difference between strategic thinking and obsessive thinking is in you being in charge of your mental activity versus Monkey Mind taking over your life. I have been there. The habitual program is still existent in the back of my mind, yet I learned how to switch to another channel. Sometimes I fall back into the old trap, yet I recover quickly and am aware. Every 10 years or so, I tend to face a major challenge and am threatened to get stuck in the old way of thinking and just can’t let go. Then it is time to remember… Then I need to focus to apply those tools that I teach others for myself, in a very conscious, disciplined and regular manner. In a kind way, like it was the first time.

Knowing doesn’t make you Necessarily Smart

Knowing how to solve an issue may be smart, but doesn’t mean you are necessarily smart enough to never fall into the trap again. Knowing means that you have the tools and the choice to apply them. You still need to actively change the way you do the things you do. If an unconscious program takes over, you give away your choice without even realizing.

To inspire for that move from “living in the head” towards being yourself became my passion, my job and mission. Being yourself sounds so big, important and special. From my perspective this whole idea around authenticity is totally overrated. For me it just means to switch identifying with what you think of yourself to what you are: the one who can observe the whole game from a higher perspective, the one who can choose how to use his or her mind and body, the one who can make new choices and evolve every moment.

Using the Mind versus Living in the Head

Being yourself requires a certain level of consciousness, responsibility and presence, so you no longer believe in being victimized by others, circumstances and drama. You created the program that you run, you can change it, you use it, you toss it, whatever you choose, be aware that you are not the program.

A bitter-sweet Indicator to Change Mindset

When running behind wishes and dreams doesn’t give you lasting satisfaction it’s a bitter-sweet indicator to change mindset and habits. This lack of contentment is a helpful wake-up call to stop running and start being silent, just be and listen to whatever is there within you. This is when Coaching can help you. It’s about mastering your mind, applying new tools, choosing a new way of doing the things you do.

Having a Hard Time to Really be at Ease

Being present, here now (instead of being trapped in constantly thinking about something in the past or future without choosing to do so) is an ability that can be trained. For so many people including myself at times it can seem almost impossible to be in silence. There is some kind of a nagging feeling inside the body, that doesn’t allow us to rest in silence. We just don’t want to feel it. The quick-fix solution to not feel those nagging feelings is doing something. Get involved in work, do something that makes you think you are doing something important, have a coffee, something sweet, a sun-downer, a cigarette or pot to relax. Like most quick-fix solutions, they don’t have lasting effect even though you still think of yourself of being efficiently working towards your goal. But the bill does not add up longterm…

Heck, I don’t feel anything!

Allowing yourself to feel what you feel is part of the deal if you choose to be present. It can be scary though. Many of us can’t identify a feeling anymore. We were trained to talk us out of feeling angry, sad or afraid. Normal.

You can’t wash the Laundry in the Coffee Machine

But rationalizing feelings away by thinking doesn’t really work. You can’t wash the laundry in the coffee machine. Nature developed this human system in a very sophisticated way. Hormones have a purpose. It is no accident that adrenaline rises when in danger. Feelings have a reason and a purpose. It would be smart to read them and respond intelligently instead of trying to “wash the laundry in the coffee machine”, neglect the feeling, the adrenaline and the purpose of it and jump to thinking right away.

It takes feeling what you are feeling, accepting it and letting it go in order to act intelligently. Trying to skip the first part, feeling what is, leads to the mouse-wheel effect. You disable yourself from making better choices.

No Emotionality in the Business World Please!

Emotional reactivity is a no go not only in the business world. We need to learn to apply our intelligence, notice a feeling, contemplate consciously and respond calmly, yet assertively.

To switch from emotional reactivity to reading feelings when they occur and act upon them intelligently is a learnable skill.

True Leaders Master their Minds and Emotions

You too can learn to make use of this ability to consciously switch from reacting to choosing to respond in an intelligent way. Sometimes we need support, a safe environment to explore what else is possible. Ignoring or neglecting what is doesn’t do the job.

Feeling what you are feeling and accepting it and letting it go


Changing mindset can be an exciting experience, once we become curious about what else is possible.


Note: Coaching is an active approach to create a vision of the future, a strategy and steps to live according to this vision. Coaching does not replace psychological treatment. People who suffer from depression and disease need medical treatment and therapy. The difference between coaching and therapy is that therapy focuses on the past and childhood in order to heal. Coaching focuses on today and tomorrow, creating a positive vision of your future and strategy to live towards that vision, possibly looking back occasionally to better understand.


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