How to Develop Trust in an Organization

One of the most common problems in an organization and how to solve it

According to the PwC global CEO survey, 55% of CEOs think that a lack of trust is a threat to their organization’s growth. Can we “schedule” steps towards a goal such as to increase trust in an organization to level x ? How do we measure it? Trust is not delegable. Coaching assignments in Europe taught me that I cannot do the job (coaching) effectively without including the upper management in the process. We are in this together. Ultimately, a positive relationship to a superior, employee and to colleagues is a way stronger bond than what money could pay. When everything seems to be on the edge of breaking down, we can afford to invest in positive relationships to work at our best together. How do you invest in building trust?

A common misbelief about Happiness at Work

“Caring for our employees’ happiness is a luxury we cannot afford, especially in times of crisis”, I heard the other day. Leaders have to focus on reaching “hard” business goals, facts and numbers to make the party go on. The level of contentment of employees seems too far away from business goals. There might be a dangerous misconception about employees contentment at work and building trustworthy relationships: Many leaders still seem to believe that employees can be motivated by monetary incentives, exiting excursions or workshops at interesting destinations. Over here in Europe unoriginal traditional leadership techniques are still common: subtle types of intimidation, hidden threats of losing the job and tools such as positive-manipulative feedback techniques (the “sandwich technique”, saying something positive, expressing what you really want to say, saying something positive again). Yes, inducing fear creates a reaction, and business numbers might be reached short term, but as soon as another job possibility is in sight, the employee is gone. However, most people are loyal to trustworthy people. Good leaders can take their whole department with them to another company when they leave an organization. Fear of losing the job is stressful for employees. They may manage to reach those numbers but longterm stress can kill motivation, creativity and health. So let’s dig into the possibility of adding trust to the goals for business success.

How Trust Creates Joy

Trust creates joy, according to Paul J. Zak founder of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies and a professor of economics, psychology, and management at Claremont Graduate University. Experiments have shown that having a sense of higher purpose stimulates oxytocin production, as does trust. Trust and purpose reinforce each other, which leads to extended oxytocin release, which translates to happiness.

“Joy on the job comes from doing purpose-driven work with a trusted team. In the nationally representative data set described in the main article, the correlation between (1) trust reinforced by purpose and (2) joy is very high: 0.77. It means that joy can be considered a “sufficient statistic” that reveals how effectively your company’s culture engages employees.”

How much do you enjoy your job on a typical day?

Therefor the answer to “How much do you enjoy your job on a typical day?” is also an indicator for the the level of engagement of an employee.

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant.” said Max De Pree, former Herman Miller CEO.

It takes clarity, honesty, humility and respect to build trust in people. People need a clear direction and information transparency to see it through. And it takes getting out of they way so they can do their job. My father had been working for 50odd years in the same company and he was happy there, even during intense times of change and challenges. His former boss showed real leadership skills, real respect and real gratitude. No sweet talking. No manipulation. I once witnessed a scene and could clearly hear, see and feel this leader spoke in a serious and kind way. My father didn’t like everything about this boss, but he was trustworthy, he knew exactly what was going on and could dare to talk to him fearlessly about serious problems. Plus, he always knew what he had to do and when things changed quickly he could ask for support to learn the new system quicker.

It’s not at all about pampering your employees, being easy on them or expecting less from them. High-trust companies hold people accountable without controlling every of their steps. They treat people like responsible adults.

Communication is key

Communication skills is on top of the softs skill list. Understanding each other is necessary for successful trust building. Clear, transparent, fear-free communication, can be a game changer in terms of trust within an organization- e.g. by combining individual personal development and team-training. Here is a practical example: we train to do “reality checks” on the way we habitually interpret, assume, suppose, conclude and what really is. We train to communicate clearly and kind. We train how to get over the idea of “I don’t like this guy” or the idea “she doesn’t like me” etc.. What sounds almost insignificant can have a profound impact on the organizational culture and way beyond the professional scene. Imagine how you would feel, if you learned to let go of prejudices, judgments and preset ideas about the outturn of a situation?

Lead yourself first

Communication skills start with the communication in our own head and becoming clear about those messages, the emotional impact and our actual performance. Leaders who continuously do their homework are role models. They know that errors can be huge possibilities to improve processes significantly as long as they stay balanced, can forgive and communicate clearly. They can build trust, because they are trust-worthy: they are authentic and congruent in what they say, feel and do. They are human. They have active listening skills. They act upon their errors and insights: not only when things don’t turn out as planned there is room for continuous development beyond the comfort zone. It’s not easy and it’s not hard work either. Coaching and trainings of that type at some point takes leaving the comfort zone for most of us, yet in a healthy, rewarding and sustainable way. Nothing you do on a weekend. It rather becomes a lifestyle.

Isn’t that what we all crave for: growing in some way, contributing in some way and enjoying trustworthy relationships?

What is your opinion on trust within an organization?
Is it a luxury or a necessary goal to sustainably ensure success?
What’s the culture in your organization like?
Can you afford to tell the truth?
Is communication based on truth and trust or subtle manipulation?
How do you relate to your boss and colleagues?
Seriously, How do you like your job on an average day?

How to introduce positive habits effectively

What makes us change?

Before you start reading, let’s be honest. Reading, thinking and knowing doesn’t make us change our behavior. It takes specific regular practices to experiment with this information in order to ignite the spark to change.

Ignite your Spark

According to CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) our thoughts influence our feelings and our feelings influence our behavior. Any of you who have experimented trying to change with affirmations only might have made this experience: saying affirmations while feeling an opposing emotions feels like driving a car with full breaks on. “Yes, but….”. When we actually feel a positive sensation in the body, signaling the right direction, that’s when we let go of resistance. When mind and heart go together, we get an energetic boost. How can we make our mind to let go of negative thoughts about ourselves, others and the world and actually feel good about ourselves, others and the world (…without fooling ourselves sweet-talking situations)?

I am not a fan of training habits for 3 weeks of hard work like an automat. Yes, willpower is absolutely necessary and excuses won’t make the change. A kind, loving attitude in my opinion is just as necessary in order to not just reach the goal, but make it an efficient lasting change and last not least be content during the process of life.

Think about it: How many people are actually content doing what they are doing? How is a loving, kind attitude translated in the business world? We are intelligent, sentient beings. Aren’t we missing the whole point of life when we are treating ourselves and others like an automat on our continuous journey to reach goals?

For me the word spark is helpful to remember what it takes to get you going towards a desired direction. Spark reminds to a bulb releasing energy, resulting in light and to the sensation in the heart that gives our bodily system a clear new physiological signal and energetic information. It takes feeling that spark to step from accumulating information to action, from being knowledgable to having wisdom, from studied theory to living practice. Yes, then, change in form of a physiological change in neurological connections can happen, and we can “just do it” over a long period of time and create that new habit. We are feeling that spark, without even having achieved the goal. Affirmations are empty words without that feeling. It takes more than knowing. It takes feeling that spark in the heart that motivates intrinsically. How do we get to feel that spark?

Making unconscious habits into Conscious Choices

This is how it does NOT work: Emotional reactions can’t be changed by “hard” work, nor can a boss working with pressure or intimidation help an employee to gain the ability to be self-motivated. Money can’t do it either. Unwanted reactions happen, without us choosing and deciding to do so. You did it again? You screamed at an employee or froze during a conflict like a slave of unwanted reactions?

Emotional Regulation for Leaders

The ability to regulate emotions and switch from unwanted emotional reacting to conscious choices is an essential requirement for leadership. (Torrence and Connell 2019) Training this skill is like training any other skill: you need to know what you are doing and keep doing it. There are many approaches such as therapy or coaching to learn this skill.

How do we train to change the old habitual reactions?

Here are some elements of my coaching approach and why I apply them.

  1. Coaching: gain clarity about where you stand right now, and which values are truly important for you. Learn and practice tools. Understand the mechanisms of body, mind and emotions, experiment with this new information, make it yours.
  2. Relaxation training: Relaxation is healthy because it increases the flow of blood around our body and gives us more energy. You get a calmer and clearer mind. It helps positive thinking, concentration, memory and decision. Distractions and drugs can’t do that. Relaxation slows our heart rate, reduces our blood pressure and relieves tension.
  3. Awareness training, mindfulness techniques and meditation help to focus on what really is, here and now: check in with the senses in the present moment. Trying to block sensations in the body as strategy to “function” doesn’t work efficiently, since it rather leads to stress, addictive or obsessive behavior. Change can happen once we are allowing, consciously acknowledging and appreciating whatever is first. Meditation practices helps to become resilient, powerful and positive. Meditation literally changes the mind physiologically. Studies show, that mindfulness meditation changes our actual brain structures (Alfonso Barrós-Loscertales, 2019).

Is meditation necessary to change?

The mechanism of change is creating new neurological chain reactions in the brain. Letting go of unwanted behavior, or introducing new behavoir and changing reactions such as freezing in fear, intimidating others aggressively, trying to “win a battle” by putting them down cynically, or manipulating otherwise can’t be done by coaching alone. Yes, some form of personal meditation practice is necessary. This is where you become your own guru.

A simple and effective Stepping Stone towards Positive Change

It can be frustrating to be in an environment that is not supportive. How many times have we heard: we can only change ourselves? There are hundreds of coaches, healing techniques and therapies. Here is a simple and effective stepping stone that helped me personally rise from the ashes: Walking in nature in a specifically attentive way. It can be done anywhere, and it is effective to keep body, heart and mind fit. Loads of studies and cultures suggest, walking in nature as a powerful practice to stay present, strong, and positive. It takes a combination of willpower, know-how and a loving attitude in order to be effective.

How do I know that this stuff works?

This article is influenced by personal experiments with meditation, studies of Yoga, mental health, healing- and medical workshops and trainings (Psychosomatic Primary Health Care, Hypnosis for Pain and Stress Relief). I read articles and books by Gregg Braden, Joe Dispenza, Simon Sinek, Tony Robbins, Louise Hay, Gabor Maté, Deepak Chopra, Stephen Covey and others. Since 2000, I accompany individuals and team as a coach. All this means nothing, really. If you want to benefit from this, it takes experimenting.

Did you find this helpful?

Then feel free to SHARE this article selecting a button

Here is a coaching question to play with:
Would you want to hike to the top of the Himalayas or take a helicopter?
Why exactly?

    Thanks!!!
    For staying tuned in.
    For sharing your gifts!
    For sharing!


    http://theWalkingguru.org

    Clarity. Focus. Direction

    The Walking Guru

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    Strategy: Love and Respect

    Covid-19 seems to stop the world for a while. Who has time to contemplate on Love and Respect when the world is upside down?

    Shouldn´t you better recalculate your pension plan, work on worse-case and worst-case scenarios?

    What could be a tangible benefit in spending time contemplating on Love and Respect?

    Hardly anybody would have believed that this was possible: the world economy is paused, the world is locked down. Many people are in fear of losing “everything” that they thought was theirs. Our health and wellbeing is at risk, not only due to the virus, but also due to fears, social distancing, lack of physical activity and lack of daylight leading to depression. Freedom is a value to be redefined. While sitting at home, locked-down in your 4 walls, you can get claustrophobic. Especially if you think about how much longer this will go…

    If you are usually running in the “I-need-to-fix-this-NOW” mode, Love and Respect might feel a rather luxurious, everything other than prioritized topic to you, especially under current circumstances. I understand, when fear drives your thoughts, it is the most natural thing to focus on problem-solving and not in solution-thinking.

    What could be a good argument to convince our ego-driven minds to let go of problem thinking and focus on values such as Love and Respect? Ego-driven, meaning our natural tendency to protect ourselves from damage. What would be the alternative to ego-driven and still being safe?

    The truth is, what we thought was safe and sound is not as secure as we believed. Or would you have believed that the world would “shut down” for months some time ago? Our idea of security is still an idea. There is not such a thing as total security. We can calculate and provide statistics and argue for whatever we want to argue. And we can change the value of a “fact” by changing its relationship to other factors.

    A tangible benefit is concrete, tactile or at least sensible, would you agree?

    If you are somewhat limited in your free choices, forced to do things differently than usual, then, you might feel somewhat more irritated, angry, fearful or sad. Such situations produce certain feelings which come with sensible consequences in the body. Would you agree, that quality of life is notably affected by such sensations? Well, this could be an argument, why using the time to contemplate on Love and Respect is NOW: simply because you may free yourself from illusionary ideas that restrict your health and wellbeing and get back to one topic that even during COVID-19 times is interesting: Enjoy life despite fear, anxiety, sadness or limitations.

    This is not about manipulating your mind to think positively about something that bothers you as if you were supposed to like what you dislike. We enter a completely different domain: beyond likes and dislikes. Fact is, that we are restricted now and we cannot control the situation ourselves. We even don’t really know what is the right thing to do – we just assume that latest research and decisions taken by politicians are what we have to do now. Knowledge changes everyday, once we research new aspects, old statistics become irrelevant. So let’s be real: Here and now is all we can influence and we can only change ourselves. Almost everybody at some point in their lives got to understand that intellectually. And still, we act as if we forgot, trapped in the “fix-it-NOW” mode.

    So the Love and Respect strategy is not that dumb after all, even or especially if you are used to auto-react to situations.

    The other day I was on a Zoom-Call with “Possibility Managers” (please google https://possibilitymanagement.org/ for more information).

    People from around the globe gathered in order to learn, explore and experiment new possibilities together.
    At one point we were asked to do an experiment: take a deep breath and look at one of the people in the chat window during half a minute or so. Once the mind calmed down to a state of non-judgement, (e.g. about the look of the person), a warm feeling around the heart occurred in most of the participants. We felt a sense of connection, appreciation, respect and love. We felt right here right now is the best place to be in order to live this precious moment of truly connecting and feeling that energy in the body.


    Love is just a word, said the brain-worker, and still that indescribable feeling in every cell is nothing one can deny, unless you keep distracting yourself from calming down and feeling whatever you feel. And that is the tricky point: it might feel “uncomfortable” once you get quiet. The fear of feeling anxiety, sadness or serious fear kept us in the mouse-wheel too long. Now is the change to dare to face what is. Once we allow ourselves to accept any feeling in a non-judgemental way, we allow the flow of energy running through our body, without judging into good and bad. Then, real change can occur, because we no longer need to run away, fight or freeze, but free this intrinsic energy to use it mindfully instead of suppressing it.

    What if anger was an incredible tool to set boundaries, so collect enough energy to finally change a longterm habit, to become clear about what you really want and what you no longer want to allow? I suggest to allow the energy to flow freely and still RESPOND mindfully to a situation. How that works? That’s food for another blogpost. (Shoot me an email and we can talk on whatsapp!)

    What if sadness was a valuable testimony that reminds you that you care about a relationship?

    What if you were open to become curious about the possibility of using fear a the source of creativity it can be? If you dared to feel the sensations to their full extend and realize the impact it has in the body without fighting it? Woohoo – so much energy.

    Imagine you used your extra time at home to explore these sensations, trusting, that you won’t die. What is your instant reaction? Curiosity, appetite, aversion or shutting down? Imagine you would no longer be afraid of “negative” feelings but open to feel what you feel. Your unconscious habit would no longer focus on distracting, suppressing or fighting those feelings, but on love and respect towards yourself and the people around you.

    If you start with including a little calm-your-mind habit such as a daily 5-10 minute meditation, chances are that you will notice a difference after 2 or 3 weeks of investing those daily 5-10 minutes. Imagine you could switch from Monkey Mindº to consciously being here and now with a calm mind and experience inner peace. Yes, nothing will change in the physical world, unless a type of action. And yes, the action of meditating with the goal of training to be calm and focused is a prerequisite to respond consciously to situations instead of auto-reacting with unconscious patterns from the past. Worth an investment?

    There are loads of free guided meditations online available as well as phone apps to experiment with. At Chopracentermeditation.com you find a short and simple daily meditation guided by Oprah und Deepak Chopra.

    Strategy Love and Respect starts with yourself: if you make your inner world priority by respectfully caring about what you really feel and switch from judging to unconditionally accepting it, that is a loving attitude towards yourself. Imagine how it would feel to totally love and accept yourself, no matter how you feel in the very moment! Imagine you could experiment this with others as well. What would change?

    Maybe the way you live the very moment would change.
    Maybe the outlook on life would change.
    Maybe the level of energy that runs through your system would change.
    Maybe your impact on the world would change. Not by manipulating, simply by vibrating differently.

    º MONKEY MIND Mental Hygiene for more Joy every Day now available in English directly from the Author. (German Edition e.g. at Amazon)

    Feeling Low or Thriving during COVID-19?

    Life is a flow of ups and downs, isn’t it. If it wasn’t we were probably dead. Sometimes the movement is more, sometimes less. When it hits us hard and downs become intense over a long period of time, it is easy to fall into a depressed state of mind/emotion/action. Mind-slash-emotion-slash because you can’t really experience a clear division of mental state and emotional state, while being in the body. And the mental-emotional state can have huge impact on our spectrum of activities.

    During COVID-19 times most of the world is locked down inside their homes. People who are used to a structured life, social interactions, professional sense of achievement, wether positive or rather a daily mouse-wheel scenario are now thrown out of their habitual life patterns.

    We can’t deny the limitations we are facing. In many countries people are not allowed to go out at all, other than for existential needs. We are now also facing fears that we are not used to face consciously: what if – world economy collapses, what if I lose my job, my spouse, my house, my everything, etc.. Relationships are threatened: what if the person you share your life with turns out to be different than your dream about him or her? Or you turn out to be different than her or his illution of you?

    Provoking: This is an opportunity!

    Really? Taking advantage of the situation? Taking advantage can be positive and negative – like everything. A major international Sports Brand will not pay their rent, due to COVID-19, even though they made 23 Billion of turnover and 2 million profit last year. That’s not the type of taking advantage I refer to.

    The situation implies the need to restructure daily habits for many people. Being thrown out of the mouse-wheel can be a chance to take time and dare to investigate your true nature, beyond all inherited and conditioned masks and habits. Free yourself from “self-imposed” limitations, even if these might not feel like self-imposed at all… If you were living a very happy and balanced lifestyle before, now is a challenge to expand your know-how. Experiment with those external limitations and how to use your inner freedom to constructively respond to them. And possibly share your insights to the benefit of others.

    Some have a habit of balancing out emotional discomfort, nasty neighbors or nagging thoughts with intense sports activities, letting the produced endorphins fight the low. A strategy that requires balance. Now, locked in, you can explore this balance: What else does it really take for you to feel good about yourself and the world?

    Some have a habit of getting busy in what they believe “very important” work morning to night and have a glass of wine or two at night to “unwind”. A strategy that requires honesty and courage to face the truth.

    Some smoke Ganga first thing in the morning to last at night which may be medically recommended. A strategy that requires moderation. What exactly are you feeling without smoking weed all day long threatening? Something may lead to another and reveal itself just by daring to feel instead of distracting.

    Some spend their time complaining about others, themselves, life, past or future while engaging in actions they enjoy, don’t care about, or complain about as well. A strategy to ignoring own needs, wishes, potentials. If you have a period of complaining about others, then this is a chance now to explore what’s behind that habit. What do you really want? What do you really need?

    A Chance to liberate your strength

    Let’s say: this is a chance to get into your own power. If this sounds ridiculous or too provoking, you may say: no more excuses, no more distractions, facing the truth. Let’s be honest! And act upon the insights.

    Time to get back to Inner Peace

    Inner Peace? Yes!!!

    Most people are aware that we are social beings who create the movie of how they experience life in our own minds. Thinking habits, feeling habits and possibly intuition may create that picture. Or we create that picture consciously, with awareness. Wether with vision boards and mission statements, honest talks with trustworthy people or simply meditating.

    Everybody else around serves as a co-actor in our movie. Who doesn’t know the scenarios in the mind before something actually happens to occur in the “real” material world, or at least, how you experience it?

    Inner peace is not the same as the state you are in when ignoring the truth or distracting from it… Whatever threatens our inner peace can be a learning chance, to inspire us to keep growing.

    It is also obvious, that you are probably not a monk who meditates 5 years on Love and Peace, you wouldn’t sit here now, reading this. It is obvious, that most people can’t or don’t want to spend 5 years of their lives meditating at a remote spot on earth in order to find inner peace. The exiting detail is this: you don’t need to meditate years and years. It is enough if you slowly and kindly add a few daily habits into your life that will overwrite some unnecessary habitual pattern in order to find inner peace. These habits may seem insignificant at first and may have a severe impact on your level of awareness and quality of life.

    Facing the Truth

    Many people unconsciously draw worst case scenarios. I tend to draw scenarios in pink, no matter what, in order to see the best in people and ignore the fact that we are all human… Both approaches have their pros and cons as long as you don’t lack being here now – missing awareness you risk to misinterpret facts and your subconscious (survival) programme keeps writing the movie you experience like it has been in the past.

    Life is Continuous Improv Theater

    There are certain rules or tricks to make this either an exiting adventure, a never-ending nightmare, or a series of boring repetitive scenes, lacking YOUR creativity and zest. In improvisation theater one rule is: “yes and” instead of “yes, but” or “no”…

    These rules and tricks are mostly about getting beyond the own ego, becoming aware that (local-brain) knowledge is and will be always limited and that there is a field, that we are all part of, that has all the answers. We are all the same, made out of the same stuff, have the same deep-down needs and wishes, no matter what nationality and the mix of genes. We come from the same place and go back there. The variety of us together is, what makes life playful, colorful, interesting.

    We are free to make choices, once we are aware, that we can do so:
    We cannot control life around us, even though we might try possibly almost all the time. We can control and choose the way we respond to a situation, once we are aware and train to do so.

    How do you benefit from this situation?

    What do you do with this situation? How do you respond? What chance is there for you to grow?

    How do you feel during this time? Can you dare to be honest? Do you share your feelings with somebody or just process them in your own mind?

    Being honest takes the courage to become bigger than humanity’s habitual ego-defense-systems such as running away, hiding, hitting back aggressively or passive aggressively to whatever comes up, neglecting how you feel (with or without help of distraction strategies) or putting yourself down to stay in the habitual discomfort of the comfort zone. You get the idea: probe your inner workings and face the truth.

    BTW don’t get me wrong: distraction strategies can be super-helpful at times, when things get totally out of balance.

    Are you brave enough to state your Status Quo to yourself? Do you have the courage, courage and courage to be honest to yourself?

    If you feel low now, examine what it is, that you are actually feeling. Feeling low is not a feeling it is more of a description that your joy-level is low. What do you feel, fear, anger, sadness? Examine your inner world and communicate about it or write it down in a diary. What thoughts come up?

    This is the perfect time to add a tiny brief morning meditation. Let it be 5 or 10 minutes daily. This is to explore and find out more about yourself and life.

    This is the perfect time to start doing whatever you do more consciously:

    When you brush your teeth, you take your time, brushing your teeth consciously from side to side, smoothly, front, inside, upper jaw, lower jaw versus a mechanical automized movement.
    When you eat, eat consciously and taste how the flavor of the food changes while you jew. Train your awareness by focusing on whatever you do, right here, right now! Now is the perfect time to train to do so.

    Discover, welcome and make friend with old patterns

    Now is also the time to acknowledge and accept old unconscious and especially unwanted habitual reactions come up more easily. Sounds annoying or scary? Let go of resistance. Agree with what is. That frees from fighting against it and liberates so much energy.

    Play with Attitude

    What if you decided to – just for the experiment – not judge anything, whatever there is, whatever comes up. When you are annoyed by something, you just acknowledge what is. When something you like happens, you just acknowledge it, without putting a good or bad label on. As if there was no “good” and “bad”.

    Imagine yourself experimenting, just for a day or a week, to change your attitude towards yourself! You could treat yourself like you would treat your baby, or your puppy – you would give yourself what you really need and not more and not less, because you are aware that well-being is about balance, quality, love and kindness.

    On a stage II you can also play with attitude towards your biggest “enemies”: Apply a higher level of wider awareness.

    Everything is energy and vibration.
    And we are aware of it.
    Now more than before.

    Let’s play!

    HOPE in Uncertain Times

    Would you agree: Hope is a double-edged sword.

    What is hope? According to Wikipedia “Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large. As a verb, its definitions include: “expect with confidence” and “to cherish a desire with anticipation.”

    Why do I consider hope a double-edged?

    1. Someone who has no hope at all is at risk to expect a negative outcome to a situation. The way you think is the way you vibrate, the way life force moves your system. Between a non-optimistic state of mind and a negative mindset is space for a realistic outlook of life: everything changes all the time and your influence in your world is limited to the way you think, feel and act.
    2. Someone who has lots of hope and doesn’t come up with adequate actions is at risk to get stuck in a unsatisfying situation, talking him or herself into dreams without ever going for them, lying or ignoring the truth.

    Where are you on a scale from 1 to 10 in terms of HOPE?

    If you are aware that your ability to stay calm and peaceful to allow unknown possibilities and situations appear on your inner and outer horizon is somewhat limited, check this out:

    Deepak Chopra and Oprah are offering during a limited time a FREE 21-Day Meditation online for you to expand your ability to stay positive!

    Here is the link: https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience


    Feel free to share your comments about HOPE below!
    http://theWalkingGuru.org – Joy is not a luxury Good

    How to Stay Strong and Healthy!

    How do you boost your immune system? Here is an idea: In order to make use of your gifts during times of crisis instead of freaking out with worries, weakening your immune system, contemplate on how you can nourish positive vibes within and around you! Besides eating healthy, living disciplined exercising, maintaining positive sleeping habits and all this, focus on how you vibrate: your quality of thoughts and emotions. How do you do that? By training your awareness, you act as if you would look down on you from a wider perspective with a torch and observe your thoughts and observe your emotions. Some call this meditation. I refer to practicing this habit on a regular basis, not just when you have time to retreat yourself to sit down quietly.

    My job since 19 years has been to coach people towards healthy mental, emotional and physical habits. Inspiring people to reconnect with their inner core, essence, nature, through Walking Meditation, daily awareness experiments and learning to build simple healthy habits is my passion.

    During these times of total chaos, worries, disease and deaths all over the world, there is one thing you can do: be respons-able for the way you vibrate! If fear seems to weaken your well-being, become aware of it, act upon it or get support! This is your freedom, choice and responsibility. This is a time where Love and Care is the way to conquer the ill-ness of our time. Love all emotions unconditionally and use them positively as a source of energy.

    You might ask HOW?

    Here are some ideas:

    Talk with your loved ones and people you trust
    Sharen -what bugs you and what you care about most
    Don’t hold back
    Get support from Professionals

    Ask and you shall receive

    You can reach out to me right now by whatsapp to +34661682888!
    Allow me to support you find solutions that suit your needs and possibilities!
    Check in your community for support!
    Go online and do some research!
    Decide and act!

    If you want some positive vibes these days, follow and share your own positive input to the Facebook page The Walking Guru. Share your insights, experiences and support!


    Learn to use fear as a resource and use the energy to create something productive!
    Learn how to switch from unconscious reaction to conscious choice knowing how your brain works
    Train the ability to choose instead of react habitually
    Learn to forgive yourself
    Be happy with who you are

    Lots of Love

    Manuela

    Photo: the amazing hen, that gave me eggs to eat. Also thanks to her “owner”♥️

    How to Use a Challenge as a Chance

    Spend and hour or half a day or a whole day without focusing on the crisis!

    A day to nurture yourself with positive thoughts, feelings, habits

    Spend some time to focus on what is really important to you, now, that you have a wider perspective of things. Spend a day to have the luxury to just be, feel, listen inside, without distractions. A day to remember priorities. A day to become aware of what is really important for you in life. OBSERVE: how your thoughts and feelings run your perceived reality. How unrecognized fears or anxieties can keep you trapped. Get curious, how to play the mind-game with new rules.

    A challenge has the potential for growth by kicking you out of your comfort zone. If we are willing to accept the kick-ass situation as a chance, we can find a growth opportunity. This is an opportunity to become aware and responsible to grow out of our limitations by detecting and updating our habitual reactions. You can call this possibility natural evolution, fitness training by nature, survival of the fittest or grace of God.

    Personally, I believe that it is not due to our smartness and goodheartedness, that we succeed and evolve. It does take these ingredients as well, yet, what really makes the cake, devides the cells, let’s the sun rise every day is a miraculous force much bigger than we can imagine. Scientists know, since they study what exists and develop great things from that knowledge to help the world become a better place. They also know, that nobody really knows, what force is behind all this. The magic behind all there is.

    Religions help many people to focus on a system that guides them. Religions seem to be separating the world as well, when human egos come into play and egos fight about who is right and who is wrong. Personally, I see the benefit of guidance and the sense of community, yet installing fear and fighting “wrong-believers” for me is a no go.

    A challenge or a crisis is a chance to become humble and grateful and truly remember the gift of life. This sounds like a quote from spiritual book, yet it is simply an observation. Discovering and sharing our gifts and talents for the benefit of all while enjoying the journey sounds like a good plan to me.

    Now we have a chance to surrender ego for the benefit of growth and evolution. Now, it is easy to get out of those mouse-wheel habits and trust. There is almost no other way due to new social rules, restrictions and laws. This is a time to realize our miniature size and importance and at the same time appreciate our own power of decision, how we deal with a situation, how we respond, how we use our free will, potential and influence constructively.

    What are your biggest questions, fears, hopes and heartfelt dreams?

    Now is a great time to ask:

    What are your biggest questions, fears, hopes and truly significant dreams?

    World activities slow down. You can chose resistance, surrender, delve into creativity, love or fear. Free will, free choice. This is a chance.

    Feeding Positive Vibrations

    Inmidst of all adversity there is something that works: the sun keeps shining even behind the clouds and plants keep growing fearlessly, trusting nature’s laws.

    In times of tremendous challenges emotional intelligence is important. It doesn’t mean to ignore or neglect fear, anxiety, worry or sadness. It means addressing the feeling and moving on.

    You can expand your perspective and focus on goals, solutions and progress. Now is the moment to take some time to reassess what really matters to you.

    Where there is fear, there is potential!

    Become curious, check out your biggest fear and how to use its energy constructively!

    Blessings, love and positive vibrations ♥️

    Manuela

    Why Life-Coaching Gift-Vouchers don’t work

    15 years back a friend wanted to give Life-Coaching sessions as a gift to her brother-in-law. He was obese, loved sweets, eating in general was his way of treating himself with something good, he also liked all kinds of beverages, alcoholic, coffee, fuzzy sugary drinks. She insisted until I finally agreed to work with him on a “gift-voucher” base. Once and never again! An error and a very good lesson.

    What happened?

    The man was grateful, since he was used to a sedentary lifestyle and didn’t enjoy sports. He did enjoy the coaching sessions during walks in nature and the positive input. He learned to look at himself without fooling, faking or blaming himself.

    Any kind of physical movement had been a “must” and annoyed him. “Must” acts like a killer to freedom and joy. He was a successful architect, enjoyed public reputation and invited many people to his home for dinner parties. All seemed perfecto, except the fact that he silently sabotaged his health and true well-being with poor self-sabotaging lifestyle choices.

    When we started, he was convinced that he couldn’t walk briskly for one hour, due to being unfit and over-weight. Surprisingly, the coaching session during the one-hour walk in nature felt so good that he was looking forward to continue. He was surprised that the hour had passed so quickly. Within two weeks, he gained heart muscle and general strength and his heart rate went down. He managed to control his choices, have only one glas of wine with dinner or alternatively an apertitif.

    The coaching process all worked as it usually does, until the last gifted session. Only a few months after we stopped, he fell back into his old habits.

    Coaching is nothing somebody does for you. It takes saying truely YES to positive change, let go of persumingly “comfortable”, yet destructive habits. It takes becoming humble, a leap of faith into the magic behind nature that runs everything. It takes personal commitment, own responsibility and the effort to stay aware and connected with yourself. It is a holistic healing process affecting mind, emotion, the physical body and spirit. It is not just information passed on, but a new experience, a process of becoming aware of unconscious mechanisms. Conscious choices that might feel uncomfortable at first, instead of keeping on running old ego-patterns that keep you trapped and in the illusion that you would be in control. It is allowing God, the magic behind everything to take over and heal old wounds. Let go of judgment, comparison, separation. Connect.

    As a coach I provide tools and experiences to support a client change his or her mental setup, become aware of own, mostly unconscious and unwanted emotional reactions and habits. The work of the inner shift and responsible actions is done by divine grace and it takes the client to accept the gift.

    The real gift is getting out of your own way and allow Divine Grace do the job, instead of still trying to force things accordig to your momentary personal desire

    It takes letting go.

    It takes faith. It takes trust. It takes getting out of the way, letting go of old poisoning unaware thinking-habits, knowing-it-all and loads of dumb concepts, that you based your life choices on.

    The client makes new, loving decisions, sometime subtle, yet powerful. Awareness and love conquering self-sabotage.

    Why did this man not change for good?

    My observation is, that he was looking for love from outside, from people, and couldn’t commit to make loving decisions for and by himself. Loving yourself can’t be bought nor gifted with Coaching sessions. It is a skill to be remembered and trained.

    When people consciously invest in their wellbeing, there is a different level of commitment. It takes becoming stronger than lazyness, exiting the comfort zone that keeps you trapped.

    It takes a conscious effort that clearly hurts ego-structures when you decide to “outwit the devil”.

    Other than a gym membership, a coach is still there in the background for regular check-in’s over the phone. This is most important to address the situations of “failure”, which turn out to become the most valuable learning experiences, when addressed with love, compassion and patience. Loving acceptance, never letting yourself down, total faith.

    Habits such as being in silence or doing the things you do with total presence in a loving way versus kick-ass style, or eating consciously, etc. require love, awaremess, moderation, consistency and patience. Get out of the way and allow divine grace to take over. Let go.

    So don’t waist your money in gift vouchers! Accept, express and share Love and Gratitude ♥️♥️🙏 💚

    Merry Christmas and enjoy celebrating and appreciating the gift of love, light and peace xxx

    http://theWalkingGuru.org/blog

    Head💚less Chicken

    Headless Chicken is my first book written in English and published in the US. It is a personal narrative. I literally wrote it all off my chest fearlessly, not minding to be judged.

    The title stems from how I felt, when my daughter called me from a vacation in Israel on January 3rd 2010 telling me that she and my son found their step-brother lying next to them dead in the morning. One of those seemingly unacceptable horrifying situations, that break your heart and explode your mind instantly, because you just can’t take it. And still life goes on and after a year of heavy mourning and almost 10 years later, you finally let go in love, in peace and gratitude for what you had shared together. You realize a tear can be a testimonial of love and no longer feel the need to hide behind a mask.

    Head💚less Chicken is about layers of healing childhood trauma, about the impact of old stories on which we create our idea of who we are, our outlook on life. I am sharing lots of experiences with Ayahuasca and why the plant medicine won’t change a thing, like any knowledge or insight. It takes changing your mind, your habits, your actions znd create new default settings over time.

    Unless we realize and focus and act upon what’s really important in a loving way instead of unconsciously keeping on following old paradigms and concept implanted in our ego-programs, nothing changes.

    Running behind money, dogma, missing the whole point of being alive…

    Basically, it’s a narrative sharing a path that led me to understand: we know nothing! And if you keep your decisions based on a mind that is full of crap that you didn’t even choose, this mind will continue to run your life.

    We look for answers in Spiritual practices or drugs that aim to relieve from suffering and lead to enlightenment and get stuck on the way in mondane judgement, comparison and “knowing”.

    The physical world of cause and effect is full of power-struggle and fear-based manipulation. You can keep numbing yourself and play along those “rules”, or you can make different choices.

    I wrote this book because I found it ridiculous that we look for answers in Science, Spiritual books, Ayahuasca Ceremonies, Yoga, Tantric Practices and all kinds of pseudo-spiritual rituals and miss the most important point…

    LOOK inside here👇

    Moodswings, Burnout, Depression: A Spiritual Crisis?

    Since 4 months I am on the Carribean coast of Costa Rica witnessing a lot of crime, fraud, fakeness, high levels of manipulation and serious illness of all kinds of levels and nationalities – in the middle of paradise!

    As if people had lost connection, ethics, morals and a sense of humility. Shocking how humans can totally lose love and respect for each other and take what they can get at any cost. In the Western world this type of aggression manifests a lot in Depression, Burnout and Cancer, so it is directed against oneself.

    My thesis: Depression, burnout, addiction, crime and fraud is a consequence of a Spiritual Crisis.

    Consequence of a Spiritual Crisis

    A disconnection from Love, God, the power and magic behind everything. Driven by ego. Aggression instead of Love. Manupulation instead of surrender. Selfishness instead of Oneness.

    My computer decided to take a break. Sharing is still possible with the phone though…

    This video is about the dilemma of getting imprisoned in your own mind-structures, losing connection and making a firm decision as well as going the steps it takes to change.

    Escaping or numbing our ability to feel by distracting ourselves with, obsessive thinking, working, searching the internet, drinking, “journeying” or any other kind of addictive behaviour leads to more disconnection from the essense, Self, core, Love, God.

    Knowing is useless, if it doesn’t show in life. You can go anywhere. Unless you change, you continue the same unconscious habits, wether addictive work, selfishness, numbing your true feelings, distracting from Truth.

    My personal lesson here: Stop being nice and excusing others when boundaries are necessary.

    Responsibility means responding lovingly with mind and heart to a situation. A responsible lifestyle takes treating yourself, your body and others lovingly, letting go, forgiving and showing up in the world as this loving being that you are at core versus the manipulator. Able to respond firmly. Also to your loved ones, especially kids!

    Faith is necessary, otherwise there is no path where to go to. Knowing doesn’t help faith. Failure is human, just keep going, ask for help, pray, do you best and keep getting better at it. Keep walking. Never give up. The world needs your spark!

    Much Love

    Manuela

    >>> Watch now!

    8 Min video on mood swings, addiction and spiritual disconnection

    No sales video, just a reminder to become responsible and loving and having Faith instead of trying to control and manipulate.

    This is how Russell Brand sees Self-Sabotage:

    Russell Brand on Self-Sabotage

    Dealing with Guilt, Shame and Blame?

    Where does guilt, share and blame come from? We all know those situations where an emotion arises that is not based on actual facts but an inner process happening in the background, deep down inside…

    In Life-Coaching you meet many people. And many people have this subtle feeling of guilt or shame for no real reason. Do you know that feeling too? Others feel unfree, depending on their surroundings all the time. This state drags their energy, being all the time focused on what is going on around them to protect themselves or to “stir” the boat and not loose direction. And often, there is blame involved: Due to you, him, her, them, etc. I have these troubles. It goes without saying that this blaming mechanism makes you feel like a victim of your surroundings and you end up with some kind of an anger or fear. And that makes many feel helpless, if not even hopeless.

    Blame on you

    People who blame others for what they experience are giving their power away. Often, they don’t even notice, that they do blame others for their experiences, it happens in a very subtle way. The drag is, that by blaming others, they really hurt themselves and become totally unfree and stuck.

    Those who suffer from feeling guilt and shame for no obvious reason have probably looked into this before and found hundreds of techniques, facilitators and self-help books on the topic.

    It is quite easy: There is some kind of a program running in the back of your mind that makes your body respond in a certain way, so you feel a certain pre-programmed emotion in certain situations that trigger this per-programmed, stored emotion. Those who suffer from this know very well, that their natural joy is totally suppressed in such situations and they just can’t really enjoy the moment with this subtle feeling of guild or shame. It’s like driving with the hand-break on. Conflict. Unease. Or even serious mental and/or physical health problems.

    Do you really need to know, wether this was a childhood experience, something that has been passed on through generations or a social imprint of your environment in order to let go of the program?

    It helps to understand yourself better, if you know the origin. However there is a difference between understanding and being compassionate with yourself. Compassion means accepting yourself as you are, even with the subtle feeling of guild or shame or blame. Understanding means you can logically follow how the emotion got there in the first place. Compassion allows “divine grace” to take over and heal. No need to control, no need to be right. It is all about getting into a place of loving kindness in the very moment, acceptance, no longer resisting what is, letting go. With compassion it is no longer about who is right and who is wrong. When this happens inside of yourself, then you can also have compassion with others.

    My experience is, that the original reason for having these trigger points that result in guild, shame or blame may appear all by themselves from the unconscious to the conscious mind. Sometimes in dreams, memories, conversations. As soon as you are consciously willing and daring to open up and facing whatever you feel, energy gets in motion.

    That’s a moment when certain emotions, even the fear, the anger or the sadness no longer need to be suppressed and can come up to be felt, accepted with compassion and let go.

    A simple way to deal with blame, shame or guilt

    This sounds very theoretically, but it can be simple:

    Train your awareness, you realize when those subtle feelings of guild or shame appear. Or when you blame others in a subtle way.

    Be compassionate with yourself and others, accepting all there is in the very moment, if you like it or not. Stay in a mindset of loving kindness, as if you were dealing with an innocent child. Care!

    Not daring to feel what is, suppressing, ignoring or sweet talking keeps you stuck in the conflict of heart and mind.

    Stuck in conflict of heart and mind

    Again: it’s not about being right, it’s about feeling what is and accepting this first.

    If you are curious, how these imprints get there in the first place, check out my latest book Head♥less Chicken!

    You read The Walking Guru Blog. The Walking Guru is you xxx

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